Crossroads

I'm at a point of where what's happened before is urging me to face the future in different directions.
I can't ask anyone for help, since in the end they'll all say "it's up to me."
The thing is, it's like someone's telling you the roof is leaking when it's been dripping for hours--you already know.

It's the same with me. I already know.
But I don't want them to say that.

This time, it's my decision alone.

This freedom, that some can only dream of, somehow I feel burdened by it.
And I blame my indecisiveness for that.

I should start with the major problem of not knowing where I'll be going next.
After I graduate, what will I do?
That, even I haven't decided.

I've always thought that afterwards, I'll start making comics or be an apprentice to an animator.
That's what I want anyways.
Then after gaining enough experience, I plan on making the series I've been entrusted with a reality. That's the gist of it.

But the thing is, what about after-after?
Will I continue in the animating/comic field?
Truth be told, I'm in no condition to even start dreaming of going there.
For one thing, I've put my foot in the wrong direction already.

Now, here comes a chance to sort-of-put-me-back on track.
But again, I'm being indecisive.
Should I stay on the road I'm in, even after feeling that I don't belong there?
Or should I give this chance a shot?

The voice at the back of my head says the latter, though the other side says the former.
They say to listen to your heart..mine isn't responding at the moment.
She's saying "you're on your own."

I'd like to give it some more thought before I decide.
I'll pray for a guidance.
The smallest clue, anything it may be.

I just hope my head and heart will be fixed before it's too late.